I would like to do more with:
- Chastity and cum control
- Wearing a buttplug
- Wearing rubber gear
- Wearing tight or skimpy gear out (in warm weather)
These are things I 'self-order' myself to do occasionally, but I would like to be mentored/controlled so that the choices of what and when are taken out of my hands.
I like the idea that if someone whom I respect tells me to do something then I will do it and not want to let them down. That sort of respect needs to be developed, of course.
There are lots of variants and other toys that I'm into, including:
- Having to ruin an orgasm (not touching just as cumming, reduces the pleasure)
- Wearing a ball stretcher
- Having to wear thong/jock/no underwear
- Keeping a neck chain padlocked on
- Long term in cockring
- Locking cockring, which is quite tight so tends to ruin orgasms
- Short times (eg an evening) wearing a device with internal spikes such as a Kali's Teeth Bracelet
- Use of 'deep heat' type cream
- Lycra leggings under jeans
- Any underwear from my underwear browser at http://gallery.mortice.org/cgi-bin/uw.cgi
- Can only touch cock using rubber gloves
- Having to edge or cum somewhere like a public toilet cubicle
Another type of control is combining restrictions, such as:
- Not allowed to cum unless buttplugged
- Not allowed to touch cock unless it's been locked in a cb for at least 2 hours
- Have to edge a while before cumming
I will publish what kink stuff I get up to in the diary below. My controller can monitor this then at times take control and order me to do other things, possibly as punishment if I have not been kinky enough or just because they want to.
This means when I choose to do kinky stuff it will be not just for the sake of it but to please my controller and possibly avoid punishment.
I think I would like to be under control about half of the time.
I understand that punishment is likely to involve cum control, either being locked in a chastity device or not being allowed to touch my cock.
There are various limitations with this sort of control:
- For me, chastity and cum control are not about going as long as possible without cumming. I quite like the idea of 'feast and famine' - a while restricted and a while not (or controlled in a different way) - although my ideas on this stuff will develop as I do them
- I've not gone for long in a chastity device - never reached a week. I'm happy to experiment and work up to stuff, but anyone who tells me to lock up for a month from the beginning won't get far
- I find it a lot easier doing cum control through willpower, although it's a different experience
- Cum control can involve various 'levels' - see Chastity_device_use_ideas#Sub_control_levels - I have in the past played where someone has sent me a message saying "code red now" or "code green for 10 minutes, then yellow"
- Wearing a buttplug can be 'hit and miss' - sometimes my bowels 'reject' one after 10 minutes or so, and sometimes I've put a plug in early evening and kept it in until morning
- I have numerous plugs in varying materials. Most are 1 1/4 inches diameter, I have difficulty getting anything larger into me. Some of them fall out easily, some stay in quite securely
- I find it reasonably easy to wear rubber shorts or jock hidden under clothing in most situations
As for durations... a week of cum control is quite a commitment in my mind (especially if using a cb), and if I'm trying out a new mentor/controller I'd like to build up the understanding between us before we get to those sorts of times. Otherwise there's a risk I would quickly wonder why I'm doing it and give up unless I have the mental connection to drive me to keep going at it.
Of course, there's various stuff I'm not into:
- Not into any sort of pain play like spanking
- My nipples aren't at all erogenous for me
- Don't like 'punishments' which are just for the sake of punishment, like standing in a corner or writing lines
Diary - January 2013
I had locked myself into a CB6000s since mid-Sunday when at about 7pm Paul ordered me to remove it for the night and relock in the morning before 8:30am, and not to cum.
I was allowed to touch my cock so I edged myself quite a bit, always being sure not to go too far and cum. This proved quite frustrating! My cock was more sensitive than usual - that might have been due to not cumming for 2 days or being locked for 2 days or knowing I wasn't allowed to cum.
At 9pm I put in a buttplug which only increased the danger of cumming during edging. That stayed in until 5am - I could have kept it in all night.
I wasn't edging all the time, I started and stopped through the evening. I got quite close to cumming a few times, and once felt the start of the pumping feeling, but it didn't continue and nothing came out - close call.
At 8:27am Wednesday I locked on my Steelworxx Steelheart (Paul specified I should lock up but didn't specify that it should be the same device).
I've done some of that before, but the experience was definitely increased by the fact that I had been told not to cum and I had someone to answer to if I did.
On Friday evening I had a brief conversation with Paul, who wanted me to stay locked for a week but I didn't want to, so he told me to unlock and cum on cam but he had to leave before I did. He said I should relock after a day.
I cum twice that evening before going out in rubber shorts and cockring, then cum twice over the course of the Saturday. I took his 'relock after a day' to mean out for Saturday then locked for Sunday.
I woke horny on Sunday but didn't touch my hard cock. I locked on a PA5000 before going out for the afternoon. I shall stay locked in it until at least I go to a munch on Monday evening, but have not discussed how much longer.
It was not my intention when I started this to spend all the time locked so will try to negotiate something - I've added the section on 'the deal' which comments about me being controlled about half the time.
I wore my PA5000 for most of Sunday but started getting a stinging feeling around the piercing so thought I should swap device. I put on my large ebay cage which I slept in.
On Monday morning I swapped to CB6000s to wear to work, however during the morning I developed an irritating sore around the back ring. Fortunately I'd taken keys to work so was able to remove it.
In the evening I went to a munch so wore rubber shorts+tee and steel butt plug from 7:30pm to 11:30pm.
On Tuesday I cum in bed in the morning (which turned out to be ruined, not deliberately) and again at lunchtime.
Tuesday evening Paul asked if I wanted to be re-secured, I said yes, so he instructed I should be locked until a club I'm going to on Friday, and at the club I should be buttplugged but not locked.
Diary - February 2013
I wore medium sized ebay cage Tuesday evening then large ebay cage overnight but didn't sleep well. For Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I wore the medium one to work but didn't sleep in any device (no touching though).
Friday night I went out to club in rubber teeshirt, rubber jeans, steel buttplug, steel cockring, padlocked neckchain.
On Saturday morning after the club I cum twice in the hotel then twice at home. On Sunday I cum 3 times before going to Heros skintight club, still wearing the padlocked neckchain from Friday night.
I cum twice on Monday, then on Tuesday lunchtime (while trying to cum again) I got chatting online to Paul. He instructed me to edge myself for 1/2 hour twice in the evening, then 6 times on Wednesday (I have day off work) but not to cum until instructed. He also ordered me to change my underwear for the afternoon of work to a thong (he initially said no underwear but I tried and it made too big a bulge in my loose work trousers).
I had already edge myself for an hour on Tuesday evening when Paul came online and instructed me to edge some more on camera, off and on for about half an hour in total). I then edged for another half an hour before going to bed, making around 2 hours edging in total.
I edged for 1/2 hour 5 times - once in bed, twice in the morning, twice in the afternoon. That means I've spent 4 1/2 hours out of the last 24 hours edging, and not cum once.
Then edged once in the evening to fulfil orders. Paul then said I could cum, but I edged for another 1/2 hour before finally shooting lots :)
I also took pictures of 73 items of underwear I have, so others can select what I should wear.
Working on an 'underwear browser' at http://gallery.mortice.org/cgi-bin/uw.cgi
Over the weekend I was at a BDSM Bisexuals event, so got an opportunity to dress up - afternoon in rubber jeans+teeshirt, evening in cb and rubber shortie suit+jock, next day in zentai.
Monday afternoon I wore plug to work, Tuesday evening I was in KTB for 5 hours, and have been ordered by Paul to wear cb to work tomorrow.
I was ordered by Paul yesterday evening not to touch cock until Saturday (I was at the time wearing cb in the evening having worn it all day).
To the munch this evening I wore rubber shorts and teeshirt (red for Valentine's day!) under other clothes.
I coped with not touching cock from Thursday to Saturday, then cum lots :)
On Monday I was wanking while chatting to Paul online, and asked him for permission to cum. He granted it, but after I'd cum then told me not to cum again until the weekend. I'm going to a party on Saturday evening so will wear cb then, and not cum until cb is unlocked Sunday.
I managed not to cum through the week, although I edged quite often. I spent the party locked in a cb, let out overnight but locked for my return journey, and finally on Sunday I got to cum, which I did 5 times during the day.
I was chatting online to Draiche who instructed me to fuck myself with a dildo while edging myself for a few minutes ever half half an hour during the evening, then to lock on a cb before bed and stay locked until the next evening when he's let me know if I was allowed to unlock and cum. And I was to wear rubber shorts with cb to work the next day.
I edged and fucked myself four times, started getting sore from the fucking (not used to it) then locked on a cb60000s
I slept reasonably well locked in cb6000s and wore it to work with rubber shorts. I found the shorts a little noisy (may have been related to the cb causing air pockets) so took them off at lunchtime.
In the evening Draiche had me edging while plugged for a while, then allowed me to cum as long as I ate it (which I hate doing) and took pictures. I recorded it for an xtube video - see http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=0TLKW-G274-
Diary - March 2013
On Friday I wore a rubber catsuit to a fetish club where I met Miss Bonds. After some discussion online, on Sunday she decided I should not cum again until Wednesday when we're due to meet up. Sunday night I felt very horny and played with my cock but stopped short of cumming and had to try to sleep while still hard and horny.
On Monday I wore a rubber thong to work, and at lunchtime got horny and edged myself but knew I would not be allowed to cum for several days so had to stop myself going too far and wrap my cock back in rubber.
On Wednesday I met with Miss Bonds and she allowed me to end my time of not cumming. Between Sunday and then she had allowed me to edge myself up to 6 times, I only used 5 of them.
We decided that the cock between my legs was her property, and she may occasionally let me use it. She decided I would be allowed to use it up to Sunday, but not from Monday onwards until we meet at the munch on Thursday where I would have to ask her if she would allow me to use her cock.
On Saturday night, when I was going out to watch a film, she decided her cock should be locked in a chastity device for the evening, which it was until about 3am.
She instructed me to write a list of Likes and Dislikes.
On Tuesday evening Miss Bonds allowed me to edge myself, which I did for about half an hour and a few times came close to cumming but managed to avoid it. Before and after that I've been on 'no touch' orders.
Friday 15th March
At the munch Miss Bonds allowed me to cum later, and the next day let me know that I could have free access to her cock until Tuesday but over that time I'm only allowed to cum 10 times, so I will have to keep track.
I cum twice in bed Friday morning.
I asked Miss Bonds for permission to keep her cock locked up for 12 hours on Sunday (so I can do something useful instead of spending the day playing with it), which she granted.
I cum once Friday evening and once Saturday morning, then Miss Bonds informed my my allowance of cums had been reduced to 8 in total, which leaves me with 4 left.
Sunday 17th March
I cum Saturday afternoon, then again Sunday morning (two left) before locking her cock up in a tight little cage.
I told Miss Bonds that I tried to use a vibrator on the cage and she demoted me one cum, leaving me with only one.
I decided to give this as a gift to Miss Bonds and stay horny until I see her on Wednesday.
Diary - April 2013
On Sunday I locked on a CB (not having cum since Saturday morning) and asked a friend to set the combination to the lock securing it. I asked him to send me the combination on Monday some time between midday and midnight. He sent it at 8pm though I didn't unlock until gone midnight.
Received these instructions from Cello:
"Friday, you can touch as you like, except that you must do 20 minutes of edging before you go out in the evening and again before bed. No orgasm. On Saturday, apart from necessities, you may only touch for five minutes at a time, with no less than an hour between sessions. No orgasm. Which hopefully should mean you're nice and horny by Sunday, when you can have another twenty minutes of edging. You can use a butt plug for as long as you want, but you don't get to touch your cock apart from that edging session. Lock up in a cb by 4pm and wear it to the fetish club in the evening"
My first edging session of 20 minutes went on for nearly an hour and a few times I had to let go or I might have shot my load. I managed 20 minutes when I got back, but was quite drunk and it wasn't very successful.
Saturday from about 9am I was edging for 5 minutes throughout the day with rarely more than an hour between, up to 6pm when I went out. In the afternoon I went out shopping in lubed up rubber shorts and did one of the edges while in shopping centre toilet cubicle which was quite hot getting hard while normal life was going on around me.
I had my allowed 20 mins of edging at midday and was horny after that, then locked up in cb3000 with POI spikes at 4pm before going to fetish club in the evening, and got to unlock and cum at 10pm.
I've not been given any further instruction, but over last weekend was thinking what I could have been ordered, so I will do that (although self-ordered). I'll lock up in cb first thing on Thursday, stay in it for munch in the evening and through work Friday, then change to Carrara steel belt and rubber teeshirt for wearing to another fetish club in the evening. I'll unlock but not cum when I get home, then on Saturday will edge but won't cum until I'm in rubber shorts in a toilet cubicle in local shopping centre.
I locked on my plastic lori tube (secured through frenum) on Thursday morning and wore to work then to munch (with rubber teeshirt and jock under normal gear). Sleeping with it was not too comfortable. Then after work Friday I changed into Carrara full steel belt, rubber teeshirt and locked neckchain for a fetish club in the evening, so was secured in that until 4am when I unlocked the belt.
On Saturday I edged but didn't let myself cum. I left the house wearing a rubber jock and rubber buttplug, with a cotton teeshirt and a boilersuit over it and still locked neckchain. I went to the shopping centre toilets, but when I was nearly there the buttplug slipped out! It would have rolled down my leg (the jock offered no support) but I managed to tighten the fabric of my boilersuit enough to hold onto it until I got to the toilet.
There I re-inserted the plug and stripped down so I was wearing just the plug and neckchain, otherwise naked with my clothes hanging on the back of the toilet cubicle door. My cock was hard and with a few minutes of playing with it while listening to normal clothed people around me, I blew my load for the first time since Wednesday. I got dressed again, now feeling a little more self-concious at being naked in public.
I put some weighed jewellery (chunk rings) into my PA and frenum piercings, and decided that I would not take them out until I had cum in a public toilet (the first opportunity will be Saturday).
I have decided when I cum in toilet tomorrow I'm going to take a change of clothes (perhaps just teeshirt) then in toilet strip naked and cum all over the clothes I was wearing. The other clothes that I'll have to wear will be something less appropriate (shorter or tighter) but by then I'll have no choice but to wear them for the rest of the day.
This is really a 'test case', I won't do anything too extreme but want to see what it feels like to have no choice but wear whatever I chose earlier (when I chose it I didn't have to wear it!)
I wore long shorts and normal teeshirt out shopping with a vest top in my bag. I got to the shopping centre toilets and stripped off naked. I sat on the toilet wanking with the teeshirt on the floor beneath me and the skimpy little vest top hung over my bag. I knew that once I cum it would make my normal teeshirt unwearable and I'd have to wear the vest top out regardless of how self-concious I was of it.
Actually the lube I was using dripped over the teeshirt anyway. It took me a while before I was able to cum but then I splattered the top nicely. I put it away and put on the vest top which showed off a lot of shoulder that I'm not used to. I'd seen almost no-one wear anything like it during the day, but now I had no choice. I left feeling nervous and exposed but after a while gained confidence and carried on shopping.
When I got home I took the weighted jewellery out of my cock piercings, which had been there for four days.
I decided to wear cb3000 with spikes in for the day. I made this video of it: http://www.xtube.com/watch.php?v=4cA4g-G576-
In the evening a friend suggested I spent a while plugged and in zentai, so I spent 4 hours with a rattler buttplug up me and a zentai which had only eyeholes and zips were padlocked, with of course the spiked cb still on.
I got my new cb on Saturday - a very small steel tube (steelheart) with a hole in the head (looker3) for a lock through PA. I wore it a while with a hope to keep locked until Tuesday. I found the base ring allowed my balls to slip out (smaller tube means bigger ball gap) and found the PA lock too irritating (kept getting pinching). Have filled the ball gap with 'polymorph' moldable plastic stuff and will experiment with use of grommets to hold pa lock in place.
I locked up Sunday morning (without PA lock) and, apart from brief cleaning break, stayed locked until Tuesday evening. Found the smallness of the tube made it okay to wear to work. Not sure about sleeping, I slept badly but not sure that's related to cb.
Continuation of blog
I've realised this page is turning into a blog, so have started a proper blog: